2006 Sick Day Calendar
(To help you strategically plan the best use of your limited sick days. Print out and save)
Monday, Jan. 16, is MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. DAY. Call in sick on either Friday, Jan. 13, or Tuesday, Jan. 17, and make it a four-day weekend.
VALENTINE'S DAY is Tuesday, Feb. 14. It goes without saying that you should make your romantically extravagant plans on company time. The key this year is to work on Valentine's Day, but to call in sick on Wednesday, Feb. 15. That way, you can stay up all night, sleep in late, and then stay in bed ALL day long to recover from and then relive the multiple ecstasies of the night before. PRESIDENT'S DAY falls on Monday, Feb. 20. Call in sick Tuesday, Feb. 21 to stretch the three-day weekend into a very presidential four-day break.
ST. PATRICK'S DAY is Friday, March 17. Consider calling in sick that day so you can start your celebrating early. After all, you have both Saturday AND Sunday to recover.
EASTER is on Sunday, April 16. Call in sick on Friday, April 14 (Good Friday), or Monday, April 17. Monday is probably the better day to call in sick, due to the family gathering Easter festivities that take place on Sunday (and all the traffic you'll have to deal with on the way home).
Take off Friday, May 26, or Tuesday, May 30, to make the MEMORIAL DAY holiday - Monday, May 29 - a memorable four-day weekend.
No office holidays in June, but a really great month to take some sick days, given that it's the start of summer and all.
INDEPENDENCE DAY, July 4, falls on a Tuesday this year, so consider calling in sick on Monday, July 3 AND Wednesday, July 5, which will give you five whole days to hit the road and take your boozing rampage all across this great country of ours. Now that's worthy of setting off some serious fireworks.
No office holidays in August, but all the higher-ups are on vacation, so you can take "sick days" without actually using up any official sick days. Important month to stay very healthy.
You've worked hard all year, so consider calling in sick on Tuesday, Sept. 5, to make the LABOR DAY (Monday, Sept. 4) holiday a four-day weekend. Technically, this is the weekend to really stick it to your boss. That's what Labor Day is all about, right?
HALLOWEEN (Oct. 31) falls on a Tuesday this year. Wear your costume to work -- it'll be a major distraction, and no one, including you, will get any work done. It's all in the name of teamwork and morale boosting. Then, call in sick on Wednesday, Nov. 1, as a reward to yourself for being such a fun, good-natured employee.
Call in sick on Wednesday, Nov. 22, or Monday, Nov. 27, making the THANKSGIVING (Thursday, Nov. 23) holiday a five-day weekend. Use the extra time to make even more dishes and consume even greater amounts of food and wine.
CHRISTMAS (Dec. 25) falls on a Monday this year, so definitely plan to call in sick on Tuesday, Dec. 26. By calling in sick on Tuesday, you are giving yourself a four-day weekend, which helps to extend your holiday cheer. Go ahead and give this special gift to yourself. It is the season of giving, after all (and it's one way -- just one -- to make up for the bonus you didn't get).
NEW YEAR'S DAY (Jan. 1) also falls on a Monday. Consider calling in sick on Tuesday, Jan. 2. Of course this means using up a sick day at the very start of the new year, but the alternative is kicking off 2007 pissed-off and disgruntled (more so than usual) and possibly still a little drunk. So take that extra day off so that you can start the new year out right.
Other days to plan sick days around: your birthday, your significant other's birthday, or any vacations you currently have planned.
Be sure to find out how many sick days you have each calendar year, and plan accordingly. It is a top priority.
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Sure thing, i will definately remember this, i will only addapt to canada's holodays :)
Posted by: Charles Lacroix | January 13, 2006 at 11:21 AM
this should be titled "the WORST days to take off" or "days to callin sick that people will KNOW youre NOT sick"
:p
Posted by: aasd | January 13, 2006 at 03:27 PM
Hmm. Seems risky for those of us who are under suspicion of malingering; these are pretty obvious days that one might be faking it. Perhaps the way to do it and make it believable is to use the list as a guideline for the days to avoid calling in sick.
Posted by: Beerzie Boy | January 13, 2006 at 04:31 PM
I'm with aasd on this one: it's very obvious when you call in sick to give yourself a four-day weekend. Bad move.
If you want to get away with the fake sick days, your best move is to take a day off the day AFTER you'd want to. For example, if you want to take off around MLK JR. day, go in to work on Tuesday and call in sick Wednesday. Yeah, you don't get a full-on four-day weekend, but on the other hand, who fakes sick on a Wednesday?
Posted by: Jennifer | January 13, 2006 at 07:11 PM
Jeffrey Yamaguchi, if you have an office job (I can't tell), then you're an idiot.
If you don't, then you're simply insensitive.
Posted by: Michael | January 14, 2006 at 05:31 AM
Getting up along the way to being fired shouldn't need this much preparation.
Posted by: Switch | January 14, 2006 at 07:17 AM
Guys, I think you're taking this a little too seriously, now follow me; place tongue firmly in cheek...
Posted by: Solo | January 14, 2006 at 11:54 AM
Hillarious :)
Posted by: Ivan Minic | January 14, 2006 at 12:49 PM
Alternatively move to the UK... over here we get 4 weeks holiday AND squillions of Bank Holidays too... and then of course there's always sick days...
;0p
Posted by: Tam | January 14, 2006 at 06:35 PM
What the hell, who is the idiot that wrote this post. As with many other people, the whole time I read this I thought this guy definately wants to get fired from his job. Wouldn't it be smarted to make a long weekend out of a regular weekend, take 2 sick days like thursday and friday to make a 4 day weekend. Don't take extra from the holidays.
Posted by: bigmo | January 14, 2006 at 10:56 PM
umm....didn't you forgot the actual "sick days" when you are really sick...
Sorry its just so obvious I just had to point out...
Posted by: Ricky | January 16, 2006 at 08:51 AM
Most companies have a policy that if you don't work the day before or the day after a company paid Holiday without prior approval you don't get paid for the Holiday. I do however; like the day after Valentines, never thought of that one.
Posted by: Laura | January 16, 2006 at 09:25 AM
Ahhhh, in Australia we get two days off for Christmas as we celebrate Boxing Day on the 26th Dec so no need to use a sickie for that!
Posted by: Amanda | January 16, 2006 at 12:42 PM
most companies don't pay you for the holiday if you call out sick the day before or the day after. Why risk losing two days pay?
Posted by: jane | January 17, 2006 at 06:41 AM
I am retired. EVER day is a sick day for me!!
Posted by: Grant | January 19, 2006 at 08:26 AM
This can be applied to those with more than one week vacation as well. Take the one week at your "normal" time, then strategically take the other days throughout the year.
I thought this was a cute article. I can't believe some people are taking it so seriously. Do people watch movies like "Office Space" and get offended?
Posted by: Marc | January 19, 2006 at 08:43 AM
The absolute BEST way to take sick days is to take them all in a row. Fake leprosy, or something.
Posted by: asdf | January 19, 2006 at 08:49 AM
The absolute BEST way to take sick days is to take them all in a row. Fake leprosy, or something.
Posted by: asdf | January 19, 2006 at 08:50 AM
I feel sick. I think I'm gonna go home.
Posted by: chicagotoday | January 19, 2006 at 09:08 AM
Man people - many of you obviously need to take a some sick days have have a physical examination in hopes the doc will discover your long lost funny bone. Nothing worse than dorks with no sense of humor. You forgot Veteran's Day which is on Saturday - that means you need to development a long term illness so you can take Friday AND Monday off.
p.s. the Leprosy comment was hilarious. I've tried to use the heart attack excuse. "Hey boss, I'm going to have to call in sick today I'm having a heart attack." But then they wanted to call 911 and all that junk and although a ambulance ride is an excellent way of starting a free day, the shots and all the probing sort of takes away from the fun. :>)
Posted by: Robert | January 19, 2006 at 09:32 AM
Taking a sick day under false pretenses is pathetic. Anyone doing so should be fired.
Posted by: John | January 19, 2006 at 09:38 AM
Wouldn't it be a lot easier just to buy a winning lottery ticket???
Posted by: Lenny | January 19, 2006 at 09:46 AM
People normally don't get sick for only one day at a time. You could plan a good flu spell sometime in the witner to get a good 3-4 days at once ;)
Posted by: Jane | January 19, 2006 at 09:58 AM
Slight problem with this... many company's have a policy that if you call in before or after a company holiday (like 4th of July) that you won't get paid for the holiday. So, if you are not salary, be wise with those sick days.
Posted by: Jason | January 19, 2006 at 10:16 AM
>> Posted by: Robert | January 19, 2006 at 09:32 AM
>>Taking a sick day under false
>>pretenses is pathetic. Anyone
>>doing so should be fired.
So should anyone browsing non-work related web sites at work, Robert!!!
Posted by: Anonymous Coward | January 19, 2006 at 10:37 AM